Quick quiz: How come La Chouffe Gnome Week has only four days?

Because they are gnomes.

Brasserie D’Achouffe, that wacky little brewery in the Belgian Ardennes, begins this short week tonight and it concludes Saturday with the World’s Smallest Toast. The tiny mug on the left, on top of the tiny coaster, holds less than an ounce of beer. You can toast several times without getting into trouble.

According to the press release, La Chouffe is celebrating its 6,666th anniversary — thus the Saturday toast at 6:66 p.m. Other events include tastings of limited release beers Biere Du Soleil and the Gnomegang collaboration.

Where will these be happening?

Not surprisingly, there’s a Facebook app for that.

What’s the little glass for? The best way to get the answer is to view the “Perfect Pouring Ritual” video.

But how do you get one?

Affligem, DRAFT Magazine and the Flanders Tourism Board have organized a contest in which 200 consumers will receive the “Perfect Pouring Ritual” and a grand prize winner will get a trip for two to Belgium and a visit to the Affligem Brewery.

To enter, watch the video above, complete the entry form, and answer the question about the video.

Deadline is July 16 and DRAFT has all the rules.

Brad Smith has posted an interview I did with him a little while back for the BeerSmith Podcast.

I’ve only listened to a bit of it — I was there, I’ve heard enough of my stories — but I was struck immediately by how many times I uttered the “um” sound. Perhaps I was trying to sound thoughtful. Mostly I come across as a person who should stick to the written word.

But if you want to hear how variations of “um” I can come up with or see what one of the walls in my office looks like, here’s the link.

“Brew Like a Monk” chronicles beers originally brewed in what is now Belgium and other beers they inspired. But you know monks brew elsewhere, using ingredients and yeast strains that produce very different flavors. Included are many delightful beers that come from Germany.

The adventure that J. Wilson is embarking upon relates to monks from Germany, but it’s going to get a lot of attention by Easter, so here’s the press release:

“Working to nourish their bodies through during the lengthy 46-day fast during Lent, the Paulaner monks of Neudeck ob der Au in Munich are credited with developing the doppelbock style of beer in the 17th century. Packed with carbohydrates, calories and vitamins, this unfiltered ‘liquid bread’ sustained the monks from Ash Wednesday to Easter, and over 300 years later, the rich history and quality of this beer is well-known throughout the world.With this in mind, blogger J. Wilson is embarking on a historical study, fasting on doppelbock for the same 46-day stretch that the storied German monks once endured — and live to tell the tale.

“‘This will be no small undertaking,’ Wilson said. ‘I will be working with both a doctor and a spiritual advisor as I attempt to tell the story of this facet of the monks’ livelihood.’

“While the end product of the project will be a book, Wilson has set up a separate blog (Diary of a Part-time Monk) to chronicle elements of the fast as it unfolds. ‘The goal is to post short, daily tidbits on how the fast is proceeding, with occasional clips uploaded to brewvana’s YouTube channel,’ Wilson said.

“An award-winning homebrewer, certified beer judge and journalist, Wilson teamed up with Eric Sorensen, head brewer at Rock Bottom-Des Moines to collaborate on a commercial-scale batch of Wilson’s bock recipe. The result, Illuminator Doppelbock, brewed with Weyermann Munich, Vienna and CaraMunich malts and hopped
with Liberty hops, is ‘a bold, unfiltered monk’s Lenten session beer,’ weighing in at 6.67% alcohol by volume and 288 calories per 12-ounce serving.

“‘The alcohol is restrained compared to other doppelbocks on the market, but the 17th century monk beers would have been underattenuated, quite sweet and well-below today’s ABV expectation which starts around 7.5 percent,’ Wilson said. ‘This beer is a thoughtful rendition that I hope will remain drinkable enough to be all I consume — aside from supplementary water — for 46 days. And I hope the folks that visit Rock Bottom to drink the rest of this labor of love enjoy it, too.’

“Illuminator will be released at Rock Bottom-Des Moines on Fat Tuesday with a special tapping at 6 p.m., followed by a crawfish boil at 7 p.m. Wilson’s fast begins on March 9, and continues through April 23.”

I’ll try not to make a habit of this, but today’s post here duplicates one at Appellation Beer. This is another of those topics — like the one about New Mexico’s monastery brewery — of interest to readers of both blogs (and I thank those of you who visit both).

News last week that Abbey Saint Sixtus, the Trappist monastery at Westvleteren in Belgium, might boost production of its much-cherished beer and sell it through supermarket channels led to the consumption of considerable bandwidth on beer discussion boards.

Perhaps some of the questions not addressed by that story were answered in the various threads, but not in the few I had time to read. And I didn’t see a mention of the report from Danny Van Tricht in September that the abbey had installed new lagering tanks. Gee, doesn’t that make you wonder just how much more beer Saint Sixtus might brew?

I don’t have a definitive answer, but an email response from Brother Joris — the monk in charge of brewing at Saint Sixtus — would indicate “not much” and even that won’t be on a permanent basis.

He explained, “I am not allowed to give away more details on the matter, as it should be a surprise.”

He wrote that the reports the brewery would sell beer away from the monastery are not correct, adding, “We remain faithful to our sales policy and we have no intention of opening a second channel for the distribution of our beers in the way suggested by the media.” He indicated the monastery is considering a one-time special project (that would not last for long) to raise additional funds for construction work on the cloister.. “This will however not come down to ‘Westvleteren being for sale in the racks of a supermarket,’” he wrote.

He further explained that the new tanks make the production schedule more flexible, so that brewing needn’t be delayed because beer in the lagering tanks isn’t ready for bottling. This makes it possible to produce a fixed quantity each year (currently that might vary between 4,200 and 4,750 hectoliters a year — comparable to about 3,600 to 4,000 U.S. barrels).

Digression No. 1: Stephen Beaumont has asked what will become of Westvelteren’s cult status should they become easier to buy. The notion — not Mr. B’s, should there be any confusion — that the Saint Sixtus beers might be “dumbed down” is laughable. By adding lagering tanks the monks assure that beer will not be hurried out the door. When I visited the brewery in 2004, Brother Joris explained that the 8 usually lagers four weeks but that the 12 might take two months to ten weeks, “when you get a difficult one.”

If the monks at Saint Sixtus wanted to ramp up production they already could have. The thoroughly modern brewhouse installed in 1989 could crank out a lot more wort, and the squares for primary fermentation sit idle more days than they are used. Plenty of breweries around the world have shortened lagering or aging times to meet growing demand.

Digression No. 2: In cruising through discussion boards I saw it suggested, and I’m paraphrasing, that “the monks should brew more beer to raise more money for the poor.” How come nobody finishes that sentence with what they are really thinking? “. . . and make it easier for me to buy their beer.”

In fact, larger monastery breweries, notably Westmalles and Chimay, help support other monasteries, multiple charities and local economies. Chimay, with 150 employees in its brewery and cheese making facility, is one of the largest employers in one of Belgium’s poorest regions. Westvleteren sells its beer in wooden crates (pictured at the top) manufactured in a “shielded workplace” for those not able to work in a mainstream environment.

But that’s not why they brew. Monks — Benedictine, Cistercian and Trappist — live by the rule of Saint Benedict, written about A.D. 530. Among other things, it calls on monks to be self-sufficient through their own labor.

Brother Joris puts it quite well: “We live on brewing, but we do it so we can continue with our real business, which is being monks.”